People come to counselling for many different reasons. Sometimes there is something specific that has brought you to therapy; at other times, it can be harder to explain. You may simply know that something in your life, your relationships or the way you feel within yourself needs some attention.
You don’t need to have worked out exactly what the problem is before you come. We can begin with what you’re experiencing now and explore together what may be happening underneath.
What can I help you with?
People-pleasing and over-responsibility
Self-doubt, confidence and trusting yourself
Trauma and the impact of past experiences
Anxiety and overwhelm
Anxiety can show up in many different ways. You might find yourself overthinking, worrying about what might happen, replaying conversations, struggling to switch off, or feeling constantly on alert.
Sometimes you know exactly what you’re anxious about. At other times, the feeling can seem to arrive before you understand why.
Together, we can explore your anxiety – what may be triggering it, what might sit underneath it, and the patterns or experiences that may be contributing to it. Rather than simply trying to make the anxiety go away, we can begin to understand what it may be telling us and find different ways of responding when it appears.
Anxiety doesn’t always have to make the decisions.
People-pleasing and over-responsibility
You may be very good at noticing what other people need, keeping the peace, taking responsibility and making sure everyone else is okay. But somewhere along the way, your own needs can become harder to hear.
You might find it difficult to say no, worry about disappointing people, feel responsible for how others feel, or experience guilt when you try to put a boundary in place. Sometimes these patterns have been with us for so long that they simply feel like part of who we are.
We can look at how these patterns developed and what they may have been doing for you. As they begin to make more sense, there can be more space to notice what you feel, what you need and what feels right for you – without losing your care for other people.
You belong in the equation too.
Self-doubt, confidence and trusting yourself
You may find yourself questioning your decisions, worrying about getting things wrong or looking to other people for reassurance before trusting what you think or feel.
Perhaps you know what you want or need, but then doubt yourself. Or you may have become so used to considering other people’s opinions and expectations that it can be difficult to hear your own.
Counselling can give you space to explore where that self-doubt may have come from and begin to recognise your own thoughts, feelings and needs as important information. This isn’t about becoming completely certain or believing you’re always right. It’s about gradually developing a stronger sense that you can listen to yourself and trust what you notice.
Can I trust myself enough to listen?
Trauma and the impact of past experiences
Experiences from the past can continue to affect us long after they are over. You might notice this in how you feel about yourself, in your relationships, in the way your body responds to certain situations, or in reactions that sometimes seem stronger than you would expect.
You may know that something you experienced was traumatic, or you may simply be beginning to recognise that experiences from earlier in your life are still having an impact now.
Counselling can help you to make sense of those experiences and the ways you learned to cope with them. We don’t have to rush, and you don’t have to tell me everything for us to begin working with how something is affecting you now.
As understanding develops, responses that once seemed confusing can begin to make more sense, and there may be more space for different ways of relating to yourself, other people and what you have experienced.
Repeating patterns and relationships
Sometimes we find ourselves in familiar situations again and again – perhaps in relationships, in the roles we take on with other people, or in the way we respond when something feels difficult.
You might notice yourself withdrawing, avoiding conflict, trying to keep everybody happy, becoming very self-critical, or reacting in ways that you understand afterwards but find difficult to change in the moment.
Counselling can help you begin to recognise these patterns and understand what may sit underneath them. Often, our ways of relating and responding have developed for understandable reasons, even if they are no longer working so well for us now.
As those patterns become easier to recognise and understand, there can be more room for choice – rather than automatically finding yourself in the same place again.
Boundaries and your own needs
Knowing that you need a boundary and being able to hold one can be very different things.
You might know that something doesn’t feel okay for you, but find yourself saying yes anyway. Perhaps you worry about upsetting someone, feel guilty when you say no, or find that other people’s reactions make you question whether your boundary was reasonable in the first place.
In counselling, we can look at what makes boundaries difficult and help you become clearer about your own limits, needs and choices. We can also make sense of the feelings that can come with doing something differently – particularly when the people around you are used to you responding in a certain way.
Setting a boundary can change a relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean the boundary was wrong.
Life transitions, identity and menopause
There are times of transition when something begins to shift. A relationship may change, children may leave home, work may feel different, or you may find yourself questioning who you are and what you want from the next part of your life.
For some women, perimenopause and menopause can be part of this. Alongside physical and hormonal changes, you may notice changes in your mood, confidence, relationships or sense of yourself. Things you once tolerated may feel harder to tolerate, or you may begin questioning roles and expectations that you have carried for many years.
Counselling can help you explore what is changing, what you may be leaving behind and what is beginning to matter to you now. You don’t need to have worked out what comes next.
You don’t need to fit neatly into a category
You may recognise yourself in one of these areas, several of them, or none of them exactly. What brings you to counselling is individual to you, and we can begin with what feels most important now.